Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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