Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
They took my balls.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
