He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
