I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
