the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm sobbing to NWA
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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