FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Are my feet made of real feet?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
