When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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