Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
