you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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