that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
