I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
