David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
