Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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