And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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