Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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