This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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