You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
