I don't think brook has ever known best
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
