ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
