the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
