and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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