then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize