Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
