I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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