Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
