so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
