We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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