i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
