Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
