She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You are the jesus of drinking
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
