Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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