the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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