You work out of a Hotel?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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