I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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