I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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