Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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