I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
