at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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