question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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