How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
