does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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