try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
