If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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