How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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