I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
