3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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