I think my fart just growled at me.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
