1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
