Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize