He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Randomize
