Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
