Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
