Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
