My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
