Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you win again, gameday.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
