I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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