do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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