whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
being pregnant is like rehab
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
