If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
