I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
