You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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